we have ourselves a rant!

i don't like vampires.  im not sure how they have become so popular lately.  ann rice redeemed herself years ago by casting brad and tom in the movie and then, thankfully, it fizzled out.  then came stephanie meyer and her twilight sagas who have been annoying me since 2008.  further, she lets this century's dylan mckay play a 100 year old man who desperately wants to have sex with a 17 year old girl.  my parents would have called him a perv and been done with it.  instead people name their kids after them and line up to watch the movies.  thats the background.  so starts the rant......
there is this bitch that lives in my neighborhood that has an "i drive like a cullen" sticker across the back window!  first, i don't read the books but i assume she is insinuating to readers that she is cool and drives fast, unless the cullen vampires are old and lame with hidden handicap stickers.  second, the only thing she does is drive carpools and frankly she needs to be schooled on the 'right on red' policy.  third, she drives a 2006 minivan which she possibly bought the day after her first positive home pregnancy test.  fourth, in the heiarchy are vehicles the minivan is at the bottom.  i firmly believe that anyone that drives a minivan has given up and is waiting to be kicked in the taco.  if i ever see her husband driving said minivan i will pull him over and shove a tampon up any available orface.
in conclusion, vampires are lame, even for teenagers, and you don't look any better in your mom jeans because you are holding a copy of 'new moon'.  minivans are for losers and suvs are for winners.  brad pitt is a fine piece of ass.